~positivity

It's safe to say that the last month has been nothing short of a massive (for lack of a better term) cluster fuck. The days have been lengthy and overflowing with negative physical, mental and emotional mojo... but! While shoveling myself out of this pile of personal garbage I've discovered some little gems of positivity,... Continue Reading →

05/30/2017: I woke up in a body that wasn't my own this morning - or maybe the bits and pieces that identify me are still sleeping somewhere and I am what is left to wade through the day. Attention span is limited, zoned out yet extremely aware of the pins and needles making their way... Continue Reading →

health.

The last two months have been nothing short of an emotional roller coaster - it's been a frenzy of fear, excitement, stress, disappointment and more fear... and now here we are. I've spent a multitude of hours in the hospital this week, and have more waiting for me in specialist offices and testing rooms. At... Continue Reading →

re-personalization [tw]

Let's talk about depersonalization - a topic I've covered before, where as a teenager and in to my early 20's, I took on forms of myself - that weren't real - to cope with my day to day life. It's safe to say that that particular mechanism is no longer at the forefront, but I still... Continue Reading →

spring cleaning

It's been a little bit since I've written something. I could chalk this up to many things, but instead I'm going to encapsulate the majority of it into one basket: spring cleaning. So here we go, I had been broiling - a half step away from boiling over for months. I'd watched people bowl me... Continue Reading →

fear

let's talk about fear - because apparently not only is it something I do my best to fend off every day and legitimately hate about myself, but it's also something that can be used as a weapon against me by multiple people in my life - so, I'm going to take away it's power, for... Continue Reading →

I'm finding it increasingly difficult to be an active participant in my relationships, and while I normally enjoy quiet brain moments, the lack of self conversation is uncomfortable. It's loneliness at its core, I suppose, and while I'm not physically alone, mentally is a completely different story. Maybe it's selfish, but I just want to be... Continue Reading →

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