I don’t think it’s a secret that death scares me. I’ve said it before and I will say it again… there is nothing I fear more than death. It is the ultimate uncertainty and, normally, even thinking about the outcome of death sends me in to a spiral of inescapable anxiety, like the fabric of my very being is being torn away and I am left to dwell in the worthlessness of my existence, that will inevitably end in nothing… Yet, it’s constantly on my mind… It’s unhealthy! I can’t cross a street, turn on an appliance, be home alone etc. without considering every horrible way I could die at any moment. I’ve become a slave to my own mortality, rather than embracing it; instead of living and appreciating the life I’ve been given, I hide behind my mind made shield that does little for actual protection and more for sheltering a person scared of living too much.
I’ve been trying to work my way out of these habits recently, leaving my house more often, enjoying the company of friends and colleagues, allowing myself to take in my personal goals and what I want from my life, because, eventually, it will all end. And as much as I hypothesize, I don’t know when or how it will happen. Why spend my limited time on this planet fearing something that I will never understand… something I truly believe no one is meant to understand. As an extremely wise man once said, “After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.” While my mind is no where close to well-organized, I hope to, in time, appreciate my life enough to accept death as it is.
One of the most influential creators, for me personally, created a jewelry line recently called “Dust to Dust”. Her view of death inspired me to talk about this and really delve in to my own personal relationship with it. As with most people, I’ve lost both family and friends at all different stages of my life, I’ve also almost lost myself. Suzy’s collection, and video announcing the collection, was a reminder to me that death comes for everyone… and that isn’t a bad thing, nor is it something that I can prevent. It’s going to come when it’s meant to, and that is okay.
I also decided to purchase a piece of the jewelry, as my own reminder that nothing lasts forever, and that when my time comes, I will be ready to welcome it.